he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When are your genitals available?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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