Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You took a bar mat shot.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
