Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize