My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
