# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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