Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
