my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
