laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
