just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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