I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
