Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
