just come out here and I will go home with you...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
