if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
