If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is my gift to your gina
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
