sarcasm needs its own font
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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