i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
