I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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