I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
