hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
