Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
