did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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