i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its not stalking. its research.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
