We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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