we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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