im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
