Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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