There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
