One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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