we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
