You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
