I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
