I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
