you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
