on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
