fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
