the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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