I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize