Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sext me about skeletons
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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