why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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