yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
