Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
a search helicopter?!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize