Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
