just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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