No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize