Pappa wants mamma naked
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
