marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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