How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize