I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
