I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
