I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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