I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
