I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
