dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
