..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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