are you still at the devil's house?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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