I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize