im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
