i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
