Michael Bay diarrhea
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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