So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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