they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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