I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
