Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
