i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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