We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
