I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
