does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
